The price of vanity...

Last weekend I spent another day at the spa.. Ahh. It was an enjoyable day despite my everlasting sore throat.

I got the works... as usual... Manicure/pedicure...facial...massage. I went home glowing despite being about 300 dollars poorer.

On Wednesday of last week I thought I'd show off my glow with a new pair of shoes I've been saving for the perfect pedicure. I bought them a few weeks ago, but haven't had the urge or the cute toes to wear them.

All dolled up and ready to go to work, I got to my office and began my near-mile hike from my car to my desk. I got about halfway into the building and I thought I was going to die.

By 10am I already had two bandaids on my left foot.

By 11 my right foot was bandaged.

By noon everyone was making fun of me.

By 1:00 I had my sneakers on.

I still have my sneakers on because now every other more comfortable pair of shoe I have rubs the 4 blisters the new shoes created.

But man... did my feet look cute in them.

Needless to say... I "only" paid $50 for these shoes.

No wonder the devil wears Prada. I guess I should too.


Cheers,

S.

The truth about kids...

I think I said this once before... but I truly believe there can only be one beautiful child in this world... it just so happens that every parent has the one.

All of our kids are cute.

They're all "just like us" when they're good... Just like our husbands/wives/ex's when they're bad.

Even at 2am.

Even when you're sick and trying to sleep and they want to sing the Barbie song at the top of their lungs.

Even when they're standing at your door begging you to sing along to the Barbie song at the top of their lungs at 2am when you're sick.

But they're especially cute when they come running to you after you've been away for a week, sick as a dog without any kisses goodnight, chicken soup... homecooked meals...or Barbie songs at 2am.

Sorry I didn't get a better picture of it... but here's how Daddy Dave got welcomed off the airplane last weekend when he got home from a week-too-long trip to Atlanta.





Happy Belated Father's Day!
Cheers,

S.

At first I was afraid...I was petrified...

But as the song goes..... I WILL SURVIVE! I did survive! YEA YEA!

On Monday I didn't think I was going to make it. But as a wise person once said, "I'm stronger than I think." (And so was the coffee.)

A week of single parenting will soon come to an end. The sleepless nights shall soon be shared again!

Thanks to everyone for their support, advice and most of all thank God for grandparents!

Welcome home, Daddy Dave - ya'll get well soon!!

*Yawn*

Cheers, S.

Single parenting equals crazy Stacey

For all of you who think of me as crazy already - I wish you could see me now. That especially goes out to my husband.

Let me tell you about how things have been since he left on a week long business trip.

We started off with Jocelyn and my parents meeting me at Rein's deli for dinner after dropping Dave off at the airport. Jocelyn walked in happy to see me then looking frantically for "Daddy Dave" and not finding him.

Then dinner was anything but a treat considering she inherited Dave's obsessive compulsive behavior about having his hands clean "Dirty - Dirty - Dirty" at the top of a soon-to-be 3 yo mouth isn't exactly welcomed in a restaurant. Could be worse...she could have been doing her "Mommy has biiiiig boobies" routine. Again, something she learned from her father.

Then on the way home she fought with me because she wanted to hear the unedited version of Shake That by Eminem....always shouting at the top of her lungs the real lyrics "Shake that ass for me." Finally, something she learned from mommy. Whoops!

Then we got home only to get into a fight about not getting dessert... getting into her jammies and going to bed.

2 hours into her bedtime, I found my daughter butt naked trying to put on a bathing suit.

Finally after a quick goodnight phone call from daddy, she fell asleep - and mommy was not far behind her.

At 3am I woke up to a high pitched "MOMMMMMMMMY" which resulted in 5 20 minute intervals of rocking and a 2 hr "nap" in mommy's bed. Then at 5am it was time to play.

Exhausted, I finally got dressed and brought her to school - only to have her fall asleep in the car mid-trip. I had to lug my 37 lb sleeping kid and all her school gear into the class. The teacher was like WTF is she doing here asleep?

At 1 I called to check on her and she was asleep. Having an okay day.

At 3 I got a phone call and could barely hear her teacher because she was screaming.

My mom went and picked her up and brought her screaming to the doctor. The doctor couldn't even look in her ear with 3 people pinning Jocelyn down.

Now she's on antibiotics.

And at this very moment she's sitting next to me telling Pocahontis (sorry if I butchered the spelling) to shake her booty.

What a peach.

This day is reason enough not to ever get a divorce.

Hurry home, daddy Dave.

Cheers, S.

Therapy anyone?

Thanks to Deanna for providing some light-hearted humor for today's blog. Funny thing is -- I actually do one of these on a regular basis. Any guesses which one?

Twenty Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a
Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries
with That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten
Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish all Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical
Sounds All Day.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot,
Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"


19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going
To Have To Let One Of You Go."


And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......


20. Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile. It's Called
Therapy...

Cheers,

S.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD...

It takes a lot for me to publicly diss the man I love.

The man I spend thousands a year on to see from only a distance.

The man I risked getting arrested for just to grab his ass.

The man I spend just about all of my Sundays with.

The man I taught my daughter to admire.

But typical of a man, this one is a disappointment.

He's a crybaby.

He's a wuss.

He's a whiner.

He's a candyass.

35 laps. 35 laps. 35 laps.

That's all I got to see the man I love "race" on Sunday. (in case you're not following me or you're just dumb... I'm talking about Tony Stewart)

I demand a refund!

I'm still a fan, but I've lost a lot of respect for Tony for getting out of his car on Sunday because of a broken shoulder. If he can't race, he shouldn't have even gotten out of bed. I'd have had more respect for him if he just called in a sally. Cuz that's what he is. If he doesn't race at Pocono next weekend, I will seriously consider shopping at Lowes.

Despite it all - we all had a good time. At least Junior didn't burn his balls so Dave got to watch him "race".



Click here for some photos.


Cheers,

S.

Prayers, please...

I need everyone who's reading this to please pray. Even if you're not religious, pray anyway. Even if you don't care. Pray anyway.

To the powers that be:

1) Please don't let it rain in Dover this weekend. It makes my hair all frizzy.
2) Please let Tony Stewart stop being a candy @ss and suck it up and race. I'm not driving through NJ again for fun.
3) Please let my husband and I be able to go a whole weekend without a fight. I don't think the hotel room has a basement with a couch.
4) Please let me lose 10 lbs.

Okay... had to throw the last one in there since I had all of your attention - but 1 through 3 were heartfelt.


I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend (there I go again).

Cheers, S.

GO TONY!