I'm a lifetime mother..& only a full-time employee...

I am absolutely overcome with mother's guilt.

And I hate it.

This week my daughter was sick at daycare. And of course, my first reaction is "Not now, Jocelyn!"

On Monday DC called me because my usually happy go lucky toddler was not so happy and had runny poops. By 3:30 she was so unhappy I had to pick her up.

Tuesday she was fine.

Wednesday... on my busiest day at the office... I got a call at 9am that she was already asleep - and had been a bear all morning. "But I can't leave work.." I told her teacher... and as soon as I said it I hated myself... but they understood, so they didn't tell me to come pick her up directly... but why else would they call? Should I leave my sick child there and seem like a HORRIBLE mother... what mother would leave her sick child with near strangers? The guilt was eating away at me from the moment I put down the phone - and for the next hour it took before I called up her teacher to say "I'll be right there..."

So of course I feel guilty for dropping everything and leaving work now - and today was pure hell. Luckily I have a very understanding boss - with two kids of her own... but that doesn't change my due dates any!

Jocelyn was better today (oh and pretty much since the second I got her home the little shit...) so I guess some TLC with Mommy was what she needed. And I needed to get some laundry done too!

A big high five & a glass of white zin go out to all you other working moms.

Cheers, S.

Men who fart in church...

Last night my husband and I went to see The Male Intellect - Part II... and I have to say it was pretty awesome. (Not to mention running into T & Liz was a special bonus!)

If you have the chance to check it out - I totally suggest you do. It was the highlight of my weekend... so far!

Cheers!
S.

I won...I won...I won!

Ye ha!

At long last... the curse has been broken. I actually won something.

$200!

So in essence... I doubled my "free" calendar dough!

Ye ha!

Now I have the chance to win more... and you can help me out!

Go to : www.everydayhogwash.com

On the right of your screen click: "Weekly Voting"

Pick: "10 Calendars for the price of none"

Click: Vote

And then go back and vote for Dunkin' Numbnuts. That's my friend Kara. I'm fair!

All winnings will be donated towards Jocelyn's playroom fund. So please vote! :-)

Cheers, S.

10 Calendars for the price of none...

I ordered 5 holiday calendars from Walmart.com prior to Christmas. They were due to ship in time to get them wrapped and under the tree for Xmas gifts.

Mid December I got an email from the photo center at Walmart telling me that the calendars were delayed and would not ship on the date they were supposed to. BUT, I would get them shipped to me overnight for no extra charge. Bonus! Okay... a little late, but still in time to get them wrapped and under the tree for Xmas.

A few days later I was emailed and told the order was still delayed BUT, I would get the order FREE! That's $100 worth of calendars - Free! Double Bonus!

December 23 I got an email that made me cringe. My order had been canceled. I held back the anger and called walmart's 800 number.

"Yes ma'am (I am so not a ma'am) your order timed out so it was canceled."

I asked for a definition of timed out. She told me basically it took too long so the computer just decided "not gonna do it!"

I went through all of the emails about shipping and promises of free calendars with the woman on the phone and she apologized and told me the only thing I could do was to re-order.

No way. I took my photos to walgreens.com and ordered 5 calendars from them.

Another $100 and two days later, (but not in time to have them wrapped and under the Xmas tree....) my 5 Walmart calendars arrive.

No, that's not a typo... my late but overnighted, free but canceled order from Walmart arrived. Uhm ok.

So I call walgreens....

Me: "Has my order shipped yet?"

Walgreens: "No, we're running a bit behind."

Me: "Okay, can I cancel my order?"

Walgreens: "Okay!"

Confirmation email canceling my order was immediately sent out. My card was credited. End of story? No.

A few days later my 5 canceled calendars arrived from Walgreens.

I call again.

Walgreens: "I'm sorry. After a photo order is placed, it can't be canceled."

I tell her I have an email canceling the order and issuing a refund.

Walgreens: "Yes, I show we credited you the amount owed. Consider it a gift."

Uhm ok.

Should I send a thank you note?

Your next American idol!

Some people will probably cringe at the choice of songs my daughter likes to sing. Mostly she belts out the lyrics to The Wiggles' Big Red Car song (oh come on you know you know the words too... toot toot chugga chugga big red car)... but she also enjoys singing along to Big and Rich's Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.
Am I proud? YOU BET!

The full monty....

This will probably be one of the most controversial posts I write and it will likely cause some huffs and puffs from my better half.

We had a quick but to the point "tiff" about the difference between male and female strip clubs. So here's the skinny...

My friend and I like to go to a club downtown that specializes in ahhh how shall I say this tactfully... they display - the full monty... if you catch my drift.

I've been there more than once, but I wouldn't exactly call myself a veteran... but yes, the bouncer at the door does know my name. Oh boo hoo.

So my husband poses the "all important" question to me... "What if I went to a female strip club and they knew me by name..." blah blah.

Okay. In all fairness I should not give a shit.

I'm not a fair person. The difference here is that where I go -- they're flippin' gay! It's a gay club! They like penis not boobies. They like my money... not my body.

So to me... it's just not the same. I don't know. Double standard? Guilty. But I just don't consider the two equal.

Whatever.

For all you soccer moms...dads and uhhh swingers!

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) - Some teenage players and their parents got to see more than they bargained for while attending a Disney soccer showcase, all courtesy of about 200 swingers who were having a New Year's party at their hotel.

Paul Camporini brought his wife, seventh-grade daughter and eighth-grade son from Safety Harbor, Fla., and said he had to "delicately explain to my Catholic school children that swingers change partners during the evening."

"My biggest gripe is that the hotel had two distinctly different groups under the same roof," said Camporini, 49. "A soccer team and middle-aged swingers should not have been booked together."

The families said the sexually adventurous partygoers sometimes flashed breasts and bare buttocks in front of the children as they sashayed through the hotel atrium. The parents described the dress at the Crowne Plaza Hotel-Airport in Orlando as "raunchy, despicable and worse than prostitutes."

"We thought we were coming to Orlando, not the Las Vegas Strip," said Mark Gilbert, the father of a boy who plays on the Clearwater Chargers, a group of 13-under players from Florida.

The teams booked the $92-a-night rooms for Disney's Soccer Showcase, and said hotel management did not tell them about the swingers' party or try to keep the partygoers away from the children.

Hotel managers did not immediately respond to a call seeking comment Tuesday. All of the swingers had checked out of the hotel by late Sunday.

"We're not prudes by any means," said Rob Young of Greenville, S.C., who said his two daughters, Leah, 13 and Lauren, 11, asked questions he struggled to answer. "We would have liked to have been informed when we checked into the hotel so we could have made other arrangements.

"The kids could see through the glass atrium into the ballroom where naked people were dancing. There were exposed breasts, thongs and see-through dresses on women who were not wearing any underwear."

Young said he complained to hotel management and to John Hollis, an off-duty Orlando police officer hired by the hotel for a New Year's Eve security detail. He said neither did anything to help.

Lieut. John Mina, a watch commander for the Orlando Police Department, said Hollis didn't witness anything illegal.

(I found this at http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/)

Here we go again...

This one is for Deanna...


1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:31
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last movie you saw? The Producers
4. What is your favorite TV show? OC
5. What did you have for breakfast? Egg beaters and cheese
6. What is your middle name? Anne
7. What is your favorite type of food? Seafood
8. What foods do you dislike? Liver
9. Your favorite Potato chip? Baked Lays
10. Your favorite CD at the moment? NIN
11. What kind of car do you drive? Olds Alero
12. What characteristics do you despise? Two-faced liars
13. Are you superstitious? Yes
14. Favorite item of clothing? Tank top & the "ass" pants
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Anyplace warm and tropical
16. What color is your bathroom? Upstairs/peach - downstairs/green
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Liz Claiborne
18. Where would you retire? Florida
19. Favorite time of day? Mommy time with Jocelyn
20. Where were you born? Long Island, NY
21. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey
22. Who do you least expect to send this back? N/A
23. Who do you expect to get this back from first? N/A
24. What laundry detergent do you use? Whatever is on sale
25. Coke or Pepsi? Diet Coke
26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Night
27. What size shoe do you wear? 6
28. Do you have pets? 2 cats
29. Any new and exciting news you would like to share with your friends? I started work full-time today.
30. What (who) did you want to be when you were little? An actress
31. What is you favorite type of candy? Chocolate kisses
32. Favorite childhood memory? Vacations to FLA to visit my grandparents
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Anything from cashier at McDonalds to copywriter at Hasbro to self-employed freelance writer back to copywriter at Hasbro LOL
36. Eye color: Brown
37. Ever been to Africa? No
38. Ever been toilet papering? No
39. Ever love someone so much it made you cry? Yes
40. Ever been in a car accident? Yes
41. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons
42. Favorite day of the week? Friday
43. Favorite restaurant? Sakura Tokyo
44. Favorite flower? Lilies
45. Favorite ice cream? Butter Crunch/Cookie Dough
46. Disney or Warner Brothers?? Disney
47. Favorite fast food restaurant? Wendy’s
48. Do you believe in Karma? Yes
49. How many times did you fail your driver's test? None
50.Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? Dave
51.Which store would you choose to max out your Credit Card ? Coach
52.What do you do most often when you are bored? Sleep
53.Bedtime: 10pm
54.Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Everyone
55.Who's the last person you went to dinner with? Dave
56.What are you listening to right now? Jocelyn singing along with her Jeff Wiggle doll
57.What is your favorite color? Purple
58. Lake , Ocean or River? Ocean
59.How many tattoos do you have? 2 begging for 3
60.Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Mother hen
61.How many people are you sending this email to? The whole cyberworld
63.Red or White? Red
64.Republican or Democrat? Independent
65.Favorite Family Vacation? Cape Cod
66.All Time Favorite Concert? Bryan Adams with Hubby :)