Boots found, soon banished

The miserable monkey that went missing for a month has been found. Boots was located by a preschool teacher at my daughter's daycare. He was barely breathing, buried in a toybox filled with Buzz, Woody, Dora, SpongeBob and other assorted excessively expensive, annoying yet addicting characters. Luckily, it was all fun and games in the toybox, and Boots escaped unscathed.

However, since Boots went missing, he was quickly replaced by "spongy Boots", "Boots2 - the somewhat similar", "Boots3 - just like the original (found at a supermarket after 6 attempts at other retailers)" and about $150 of additional "get over it, please and go to bed" toys.

In the hopes that if the original maddening monkey went missing again,he could easily be replaced without notice, Boots 3 was hidden in a closet. However, the smarter than smart 3 year old, who has taken a new liking to "spongy Boots", and could care less about the original Boots, can't be fooled. She now knows she has two of the SAME Boots, as well as a couple others in different poses.

Now instead of having one mangy monkey to look after, there are 4.

Idiot parents. Smart kid!

Cheers,

S.

Get ready to roll on the floor and laugh your ass off!

Click here for a good laugh... but make sure you pee before you watch it - otherwise you might wet yourself.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=6647

Cheers, S.

Sink or swim you imposter!

All attempts to deter the 3 year old's attention from the missing monkey have failed.

This includes three trips to retailers in two different states; all resulting in a variety of alternative purchases including: 3 brand new Disney Cars, 2 similar looking Boots, and a Dora miniature.

The 3 year old was quite enthused with the new purchases until she went to bed and cried, "Where's Boots?"

Luckily, Boots was forgotten for 8 hours while the family slept.

However, today while sitting on the potty, the 3 year old once again demanded Boots, with an impatient ear-piercing, whine.

The frantic mother brought the Boots look-a-like to the child, which immediately resulted in the 3-year tossing the now somewhat mutilated monkey into toilet, while she shouted and and pouted, "THAT'S NOT MY BOOTS."

When we tried to reach the mother and child for comment, their response was undistinguishable amidst cries of, "WHERE IS BOOTS? WHERE IS HE MOMMY? WHERE IS MY BOOTS?"

Anyone with information about the missing Boots, please call already G-d damn it!

Cheers, S.

Has anyone seen BOOTS?

Boots was last seen in my daughter's cubby at preschool.

Since then... no one can find him.

All preschoolers in my daughter's class are under suspicion of kidnapping boots. However, no one has fessed up.

A search and rescue mission is currently underway at all Targets, Toys R Us, Walmarts and other area toy stores to find a replacement.

Anyone with information on the whereabouts of the original Boots, please come forward. I mean PLEASE come forward. A reward will be offered.

If we don't find him, we risk not ever going to sleep in this house again.

Cheers, S.

Happy 2007!

Should I be worried?




(Jocelyn's first New Year's kiss)