Sink or swim you imposter!

All attempts to deter the 3 year old's attention from the missing monkey have failed.

This includes three trips to retailers in two different states; all resulting in a variety of alternative purchases including: 3 brand new Disney Cars, 2 similar looking Boots, and a Dora miniature.

The 3 year old was quite enthused with the new purchases until she went to bed and cried, "Where's Boots?"

Luckily, Boots was forgotten for 8 hours while the family slept.

However, today while sitting on the potty, the 3 year old once again demanded Boots, with an impatient ear-piercing, whine.

The frantic mother brought the Boots look-a-like to the child, which immediately resulted in the 3-year tossing the now somewhat mutilated monkey into toilet, while she shouted and and pouted, "THAT'S NOT MY BOOTS."

When we tried to reach the mother and child for comment, their response was undistinguishable amidst cries of, "WHERE IS BOOTS? WHERE IS HE MOMMY? WHERE IS MY BOOTS?"

Anyone with information about the missing Boots, please call already G-d damn it!

Cheers, S.